I understand that scheduling one's comprehensive exam is a stressful and important matter, which is why I was happy to discuss with you several months ago any constraints on when I could be present for the oral exam in the fall. In this meeting, I was crystal clear that the only month that would cause me problems was November as I will be gone for a large chunk of that month. This was no problem, because you thought September would be quite lovely. I agreed.
Then, this summer, you sent me an email explaining you had changed your mind and wanted me schedule you for November....the one month this fall I had said I could not do. You begged, you pleaded, you bullied, but I do not understand how you think that changes anything...did you really think I would cancel a trip (to work with collaborators, no less) that has been planned for months so you could have your oral exam at some specific time and day? I finally suggested that you remove me from your committee if you were determined to conduct your exam in November. When you did not respond, I assumed the matter was closed.
Imagine my surprise when you popped up this week to ask if I had found a date in November that worked. We had to have another 20 minute conversation (while I was desperately trying to get something submitted) where I once again explained why that month still will not work.
So, I am writing this letter (which you will never read) so I can express myself (in as nice and supportive a manner as is possible)that you are an annoying little shit who is really pissing me off. I do not know what you think is going on, but I promise I am not making stuff up to keep you from taking your exam during some magical alignment of stars that will brainwash me into passing even the most gibbering of idiots. The fact that you ignore me every time I say something you do not want to hear (a pattern that has occurred more than once during our interactions) does not make me more pliable, it aggravates me. And while on this subject, I have noticed that you have not been badgering the male professor on your committee whose schedule prevents us from doing this in the later part of November. Perhaps you think my travel must be less important than his, or that I'm more likely to be bullied into doing what you want, but I have news for you - you are sadly, fucking mistaken. I do not understand what part of "out of town" you do not understand, but it frankly does not bode well for you passing your exam. In fact, the more aggravated I become, the more likely I am to rough you up during your exam - not because I am a bad person, but because I am only human and I really don't like you very much right now.
So, when you come back again (and I know you will) to see if I have changed my mind on November, please forgive me when I contact your supervisor and tell them that I will no longer be able to participate on your committee. I am a busy woman and I really do not have time to waste on annoying little twots.